Wednesday, December 28, 2011

You will always be in my Heart

So, I don't even know where to start, mostly because I don't know where I left off last time. So much has changed since last time i wrote. I have moved back to my home town Redding. I started living at my momma's house, moved out and got my own place, got sick, got well, and the next month got sick again. Found out I had to move back in with my momma because the house I was living in had a mold issue. In July I had a feeding tube placed, which hurt like hell! Im finally starting to gain weight since I've been sick so many times since I have had it. The plus side is that I have not lost any weight at all. Even with all this moving around and having many changes going on in my life there has only been one thing on my mind everyday. My best friend, Alyssa Crank, passed away July 17 because of Cystic Fibrosis. Even though I knew that it was coming, I never thought that she would pass away that soon. Part of my heart was torn that day. This is when I hate all those little cliches in life, like, life isn't fair. Life truly is not fair, and it does not make make any sense. She was the biggest fighter I knew, the strongest person. Alyssa, in her tiny little body, had the biggest heart, best sense of humor, and the strongest will to live. It really sank in at her memorial service. She was always there for me no matter what, she was a true friend. I can't even start to explain how much I miss her. It's very hard not to be selfish and want to see her again when I know she is laughing without coughing, dancing without getting short of breath, and celebrating the amazing breaths that she can now take in heaven. I still can't believe she is gone though. It scares me so much because she passed away from something that I have. It's made my disease more real to me than it ever has been before. Loosing has made me try to fight this battle even harder. I can't and I will never give up because she never did either. Words really can't explain how much it hurts to loose you best friend. I long for the day where I get to see you again and we can both truly breath forever. Alyssa Marie Crank you are forever loved and you will always be in my heart. I love you and miss you.

1 comment:

  1. that was beautiful. Alyssa was truly an amazing person in every aspect of her life. she was lucky to have such a great friend like you