Finding your Motivation

Trying takes every fiber of body. For some reason to keep trying is the most difficult when times aren’t the hardest. I get exhausted so easy. You think that your LIFE and the number of days you have depending on how well you take care of yourself would be enough of an influence. I guess its not so much as its hard for me to keep on trying but for me to stayed focused on the future 100% of the time. I have to stay focused and think about my future every single day, the moment I wake up, the second I get ready for bed, and many times in between. I want to be able to live in the present, but for me to have more time I can’t. Inhalers all the time wear me out. I have to always remember. Remember is the hardest when I’m feeling good; like right now. I get so excited that I’m doing so well that I forget that I have to keep at pushing more so I stay like that. This time it has been a little bit easier because I haven’t just been focusing on life in general, but another life. To clear the air right away, no, I am not pregnant nor plan on getting pregnant anytime soon! BUT I do eventually want to have a kid. Talking to the doctors this last time helped me become more positive and confident in myself that I will one day be able to have kids; as long as I keep trying to get my lung function up and it stay up. After being off of I.V. antibiotics for about a month now my lung function is up to 60%! Now for me, that’s good, since I haven’t had numbers that high in a while. I want to get them higher though. My goal is to get a steady baseline of 65%. Having this new motivation (even though I don’t have anything planned for the near future) has helped me see life in a new, positive way. I encouraged everyone of you CFer’s to seek out that motivation and keep fighting whether its good or bad times; cuz remember you gotta keep on fighting today to get a better tomorrow. Sending love to all of my CFer’s out there, love you all!

B