Taking it One Breath at a Time

So this morning waking up was a bit a surprise. I couldn't quite breathe, and it took a good ten minutes into my inhaler for me to even feel it working. I ask myself, "Am I getting sick? Again? Already?" No i realize that I kind of slacked off a tiny bit over my little spring break. I wish the spring break meant a break from everything; like including CF. So bummer. I got to step it back up and work my butt off to get back to feeling as my normal self. Hopefully I won't need to start an antibiotic. I hate it when I slack off with treatments. Thats the one thing I will always regret. So someone please tell me why I do it over and over again! I guess I just get tired of it every once and a while; wanting to be "normal."

Anyways after some extra inhalers and a walk around my campus the lungs are working better. Cardio? Cardio. Cardio! I need some more cardio and exercise in my life. I just find working out and stuff like that boring. I know its something i need to get my lungs healthier though. I am hoping to start the P90X workout DVDs soon. I also want to get back into dance this summer after the stress of school is over.

Talking about dancing, my boyfriend came to visit me today (and for the weekend), and we went to one of the fraternities dances. It was a lot of fun! It was some good cardio as well.

I'm so excited that Coleman came to visit me for the weekend. I love you Coleman.

Goodnight everyone!

~B

Focusing on Those I Love

I have been very blessed with an amazing support system. With everything that I have to do on a daily basis, to when i get really sick, I always have people that I can count on no matter what.

My family has been here with me through it all. I want to thank you all so much for everything you do for me. My momma, Heidi, is ALWAYS there for me, helping me, reminding me, and taking care of me when i need her most. From doin CPT on me when i was younger, to taking me to countless doctors appointments, staying with me when i have to go into the hospital, and supporting me through everything. I love you mom! My little brother, Jesse, keeps me wanting to do better everyday, so I can continue to be his big sister. I love my dad, Donnie, and so thankful that over that past year we have become so much closer; for it has meant to so much to me. Chelsa Aboud, my cousin, is my ispiration. She also has Cystic Fibrosis. I look at my cousin, and I see one of the strongest people I have ever met in my entire life! I look up to her and I always will, because throughout everything she has gone through she always is so positive and always keeps and smile on her face. I love you Chelsa so much!

Not only do I have my family, but I have had someone else that is special to me walk into my life. My boyfriend, Coleman, and I met this past September. From pretty much day one, I was open with him about my Cystic Fibrosis, and he has been so supportive and helpful. Since I've met him I have had a smile on my face everyday. I started getting sick in November. I was just trying to fight off the infection to hold off IV's and having to go into the hospital. Not going to lie, but I was nervous about how he would react to me having IV's and what not. I remember one night when i was a little upset and said that I probably will be going into the hospital next month. His response, "Dont talk like that because I know you are stronger than that." He had faith in me, and that meant so much. Him saying that made me change my perspective that I can change things and that I can fight it. I ended up not having to have IV's till late January. He went with me to my doctor's appointment, when I got my picc line IV in, and even drove back to Redding to stay with me for a few days (which is 5 hours from where he lives). He is amazing! I know that i can count on him, and i thank him for that so much. I love you Coleman.

My best friends. What i would do without them, i have no clue! Everyday, they are here for me. Olivia and Kelsey are truly more than best friends they are my soul sisters. Olivia and I met our freshman year of highschool and have been attached to the hip ever since. I appreciate her so much as she has seen my disease start to progress. She's visited me whenever I go into the hospital, and she definitely knows when I start to get sick and keeps me in check. Kelsey, you are the best positive support system I have. You help me everyday; help me with my treatments, remind me of things, have gone to my doctor's with me, visited me in the hospital. You will always be my Sonoma Mamma :) Olivia and Kelsey I love you both so much and I always will. You both have left more than footprints on my heart!

I know that all these people in my life have helped shaped part of who I am today. They push me when I need to push myself further and yet know when I just need some comfort. I love you all for everything you do!

~B

Loving life and its challenges with Cystic Fibrosis.

So this is my first blog and a little about me. I'll probably be rambling on, so bear with me :) Right now i am doing my nebulizer and vest. Life right now is a tiny bit up in the air and since i have so much on my mind blogging seems like a great way to relieve some stress. My number one priority is staying healthy. Cystic Fibrosis, for those of you who dont know what it is, is a lung disease. It causes mucus in the lungs, pancreas, and liver, to thicken. Cystic Fibrosis mainly effects my lungs, causing infections and decreasing my lung function. Yes, it sounds intimidating, and at times it is; knowing that it will cut my life short. I see it more as a blessing though. Living with this, I see life through different eyes. I cherish it more, want to live everyday, always want to have fun, laugh as much as I can, and always love unconditionally.
Right now, health wise I'm doing okay. The pft's are at 56%, and my weight is slowly rising (currently 105). But having the stress of school, work, and trying to make plans for my future has caused my lungs to feel a little blahhh right now. I want to be able to breathe more. I need to find motivation for exercising more and doing cardio to get my lung function back up to the 60's. Hopefully this blog thingy will help me track it all.
Anyways, life is good; just stressed.

~B