Sunday, April 18, 2010

This Weekend and other thoughts.

This weekend was so much fun having Coleman here visiting me. He and his three friends came as well, so this weekend our house was full of rowdy boys! My roomies, boyfriend, and friends all had such a great time this weekend. Thursday night, we all went to a Mardi Gras themed dance, which turned into a long, crazy, yet exciting night. After this long night my body was tired. Then next day was just a day of relaxing and hanging out, then out again that night. Yesterday, I had work, while the boys went to Bodega Bay. That was a big bummer because I love the beach :( Oh well. Working kinda wore me out because after two late nights before that, my body was getting really tired. Luckily, my manager let me off early. I came home with a headache and then took a shower and tried taking a nap to get feeling a little better. It went away after some yummy pizza and some laughter with everyone. Later we popped popcorn on the stove, and turned it into a movie night.

So, with the fun weekend all summed up here comes the real part of my blog for today. Having Cystic Fibrosis, gets to me sometimes after I've had all my fun. Reality hits me after having a night of dancing, just hanging out with friends, or even having to cut the night a little bit early because I need to start my treatments. Waking up the next morning after two long nights, trying to ignore the fact that my body is just a little bit tired, got to me. I was tired. My body was tired, telling me i need rest and more inhaler/vest treatments. I hate this part of it all; having to stop myself and refocus on my CF and what really matters. The worst part is, this shouldn't have to be my main focus. I wish that it could just be school, friends, work, and having FUN. Knowing that I don't get to do everything everyone else does it what really gets to me the most.

So, yes, I did have a little breakdown this weekend about all this. I am lucky though because I still have people here for me when I do. Breaking down is one of the worst feelings, because you know inside that you've been fighting to keep feeling good and then you don't. Starting to cry, is almost like the feeling of giving up, because you don't want to admit yourself to CF. Yet somehow at the same time it is so relieving to get it all out. Such a strange mix that makes it frustrating and hard to understand why everything happens as it does. I hate being an emotional wreck. Makes my mind think way too much.

Anyways, thats all for today because I need to work on some homework. Here's a few pics from this weekend! And thank you Coleman for coming to visit me :)

1 comment:

  1. isnt it so nice to be in love and have someone care about you so much , so glad coleman is in your life !