Saturday, June 12, 2010
Short, Sweet but full of Love.
Love is not just a rose, a box of chocolates, an anniversary, or a holiday. Love is beyond that; beyond an emotion. It has the power to change anything. I choose to love with all of my heart. I agree with the saying "it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all." I believe love is strong and can touch people unexpectedly like they never thought it could; whether it be in a smile of a passing stranger, a hug from best friend, the opens arms of a family, a the butterflies from a kiss from your true love, or the unconditional love of God. Being surrounded my love my entire life, it was only natural that I would "pick it up" and pass it on as well. I am very blessed to have so many people in my life that love me; I truly am. It wasn't too long ago that I felt like I was selfish when it came to any form of love. Its a hard thing to explain.
It sucks to say, but CF effects my relationships too, especially through my teenage years. My CF was and is something that is always on my mind, and I believe (or use to believe) was always on my friends, boyfriend, or family members mind. Sometimes I didn't want to have to get so close to another person because I felt that getting close to them was being selfish. See, I told you, hard to explain. You're probably thinking, what? Having Cystic Fibrosis I know that my time here is will be shorter. I mainly went through this difficult subject with a significant other. I didn't want to get so close to someone get married and what not then pass away, cutting them short of something that two people have the joy of sharing throughout an entire "average" lifetime. I hope this is making sense. I felt like me creating relationships or loving someone was just me setting everyone up for eventual heartbreak. I felt like a person deserves to have a full lifetime of love from someone, and not just half. Part of this, was me being afraid; not wanting to have to loose all those who mean so much to me and who I love one day, and not getting to spend more time with them.
It was hard for me to get past this stupid idea that I had in my head, but then I realized that it was ridiculous. We are here to spread love. When I look back in my life right now, the ones that stick out are all of those filled with love, joy, and happiness. Why spend my time worrying, being afraid, and not making people happy? The truth is, is that no one really knows what is going to happen to them the next day. When I do leave (which hopefully won't be for a long time) I want to be remembered for love; and touch as many lives as I can for the better. So, with my knowledge now and how I've grown, even though I know what is "suppose" to kill me, will kill me sooner than those around me, I choose to love; and I hope you will too.
1 Corinthias 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."